The Hangover
by Tremax
Summary: The boys of Kingdom Hearts find themselves in a very Hangover-esque situation. What happens when Sora spikes the drinks while the boys are in the City of Lights? Only time can tell. Rated T, might be moving to M soon. Not HF. Abandoned.
1. The Arrival

This Kingdom Hearts version of the Hangover presents a brand new way to read. While the story is something of its own, I believe that reading this fanfiction with music adds to the entertainment factor. Throughout the story, the scene transitions, and at the start of every scene transition, I recommend a song for you to play. While it is your own choice what song you play when, we believe that certain songs go along with the story and add to the story, just as movies with music add to the movie and make it more enjoyable. You can use this time when the song is playing to go check your facebook and whatnot, or you can begin reading the next scene in the fanfiction.

It is completely at your own discretion.  
>If you would like to get the tracks organized and ready to play in your iTunes or WMP before beginning to read, at the beginning of each chapter we list the songs before each scene transition. So you can gather the songs and get them ready to play and hit play as soon as we say to hit it.<p>

Thank you so much for your patience while reading this, and please remember the Selective Music program is completely at your own discretion.

Chapter 1 Track Listing  
>Check It Out by Nicki Minaj<br>Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO**  
><strong>Alligator Sky By Owl City  
>Take It Off By The Black Eyed Peas<br>Price Tag By Jessie J  
>Take You Down By Shy Talkers<br>Blow (Cirkut Remix) By Ke$ha

* * *

><p><strong>Pre-Author Notes: I just want to say that this story is going to be an epic crossover between the World of Kingdom Hearts and the concept of The Hangover. While none of the characters from The Hangover will be present, (which is why I didn't publish it in the "Crossover" section) you will notice a lot of the characters to be acting in a similar fashion to a respective character from The Hangover universe. I hope you enjoy the first Chapter to a five chapter adventure.<strong>

* * *

><p><em>A "Charmed Killers" Production.<em>

"Kairi. I got some bad news... We fucked up."

**A Kingdom Hearts Crossover.**

"Oh my goodness, Riku. Where the fuck are you guys?"

_Brought To You By The Author of OPEN._

"I really don't think we're gonna be able to make the wedding… We lost Axel…"

**.The Hangover.**

**There ain't no rest for the wicked,**  
><strong>Money don't grow on trees.<strong>  
><strong>I got bills to pay,<strong>  
><strong>I got mouths to feed,<strong>  
><strong>There ain't nothing in this world for free.<strong>

_Written by Tremax._

**I know I can't slow down,  
>I can't hold back,<br>Though you know, I wish I could.  
>Oh no there ain't no rest for the wicked,<br>Until we close our eyes for good.**

_Original Characters Created by Jon Lucas, Scott Moore, & Tetsuya Nomura_

**THREE DAYS EARLIER**

The scene opens in a house, Roxas is walking around packing up all of his bags as Namine walks into the bedroom.

"Did you grab everything? Are you sure? I'm worried that you're going to get there and realize you didn't grab everything because you always under-pack and then I feel bad and I get upset when you tell me over the…" Roxas cuts her off.

"Baby. I have everything." He kisses her forehead and smiles. She smiles back warily and presses up against him, wrapping her arms around him in a tight embrace.

"I just don't want you to not have fun because you're forgetting something, y'know?"

He smiles and hugs her back, a full foot over her head.

"Sweetheart. I'm fine, I have everything, I promise."

He walks into the bathroom and turns on the water and begins to wash his face off.

"So where are you guys going anyway?"

Roxas spits out some water that gets in his mouth and then turns off the sink.

"Twilight City."

Namine looks worried, and then nods.

"The place near Twilight Town? I hear it's really nice. But… I also hear that it's dangerous. You have to be careful. If you aren't. Oh God Roxas I don't know what'd I do if you ever…"

"Baby. Baby. I'll be fine. Shut up."

Namine looked genuinely hurt and then nodded.

"I was just…" Roxas put a finger to her mouth.

"Shhhhh. Shut up."

A car pulled up outside, a man opened the door and stepped out, he had silver hair and he had sunglasses on and a business suit.

He shut his door and turned sideways, "Ow!" He said, in a mock Michael Jackson fashion.

Riku fixed the collar on his shirt and walked up to the front door. He knocked three times fast and then looked around the garden out front.

"Damn. This faggot is whipped."

Roxas opened the door and smiled, "Riku."

"Hey faggot." He ripped a rose off the bush near him, and then pointed it at him.  
>"Did you plant all of these?"<p>

Roxas grabbed the flower and shut the door behind him, stepping outside onto the porch.

"Look jerk, my girlfriend wanted them planted in the front yard and I planted them. If you weren't so mean to your wife, maybe you would know how that is."

"Blah blah blah. Shut the fuck up."

Riku pushed Roxas aside and opened the door to the house, stepping inside.

"Yo Namine! It's Riku!"

Namine called back from the bathroom, "Hey!" as Roxas came inside and shut the door behind them, Riku turned and looked at Roxas.

"So, tell me, are you ready to go?"

Roxas nodded, "Just about. Namine is really scared that we're going to the city, last night she was comparing it to that city from the Ansem fable, Las Vegas. She was saying a lot of people go wild there and never come home. They have all kinds of drive-thru weddings and bars and strip clubs. She's really worried that we're going to get in trouble."

Riku had fallen asleep standing up.

"Riku?"

He woke up dramatically and wiped off his face.

"Oh, sorry, you bored me to fucking sleep. I know what the fuck is in the city."

Namine walks up carrying Roxas' bag with obvious trouble since she appears to be dragging it along the floor, Roxas' back is facing her and Riku sees this.

"Christ."

Riku walks over to Namine and grabs the bag, Roxas turns around to face the two.

"Oh, sorry baby! Thanks Riku, I didn't see…"

He's cut off as Riku throws the heavy bag at him and he falls to the floor, Namine screams out.

"Get up faggot we gotta hit the road."

Riku steps over him and opens the door.

"Bye Namine. It was nice seeing you."

Namine was currently busy pulling the bag off of Roxas, and Riku grunts.

"Damn it. Pansy ass."

Riku grabs the bag and pulls it off of Roxas, then pulls Roxas up.

"I swear we're gonna make a man of you yet Roxanne."

Roxas is wiping his shirt off, blushing hard.

"I fucking hate you!"

Riku is already out the door. Roxas walks after him, but then turns around and kisses Namine first.

"Bye baby."

"Be safe!"

Riku screams from the car,

"If he can't even pick up his own luggage we might have a problem!"

"Shut the hell up Riku!"

"Oh pick me a rose pansy!"

**Play song: Check It Out by Nicki Minaj  
>Scene Transition<strong>

"BOOM goes the dynamite snitches!"

Sora screams into his gaming headset and begins to do a dance. He eats some of his Doritos and then picks his controller back up, "Yeah. Yeah!"

He begins to play some more, focusing hard on the game and making noises as he plays.

"YEAH! Yeah!"

Sora jumps as someone knocks on his door and then stands up, but his cord for his headset isn't long enough and it pulls him back down.

"Ouch. Who is it!"

"It's your father!"

The voice of Xehanort was heavy and Sora sighed.

"Go away! I'm masturbating!"

"I've got ice cream!"

Sora jumped up and ran to the door, opening it quickly, "Gimme!"

Xehanort stood there empty-handed, and Sora's face immediately dropped.

"It's a sin to lie father."

Xehanort nodded.

"Look. Larxene is getting married next weekend, and I want you to be on your very best behavior at the wedding, are we clear?"

"Yeah. Whatevs. Look I'm playing Sonic, can this wait?"

"Now, by best behavior I mean absolutely no talking about sex, drugs, penis, whores, or any of the usual things that you talk about. All of that has to wait until after the ceremony."

Sora looks deep in thought.

"Father. Has anyone ever told you that you look very similar to that guy…"

"What guy?"

"The one that's always annoying me."

Sora shuts the door on Xehanort's face and slides down the door and onto the floor where he continues to game. His father knocks again.

"Sora. You turn 28 in two weeks, it's time you started acting that way!"

"It's time you went to the hospital for a checkup; I think your voice gives people tumors because you're giving me a migraine!"

Xehanort sighs. "Axel is going to be coming by with his friends later. You need to be on your best behavior at dinner tonight too, no need to scare the poor boy away."

"Don't worry, her vagina will do that." Sora laughs uncontrollably and Xehanort walks away.

**Play song: Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO  
>Scene Transition<strong>

Sora is sitting at the table looking mildly uncomfortable in his turtleneck when he looks over at Larxene who is sitting to his left.

"You know. This is bullpoo. I shouldn't have to wear clothes like this for you. You should be paying me to go through this."

"Shut up Sora. This is enough pain without you adding onto it."

"Oh sure, blame me, Mr. Innocent."

He mumbles 'Harlet' as the doorbell rings, and then Larxene quickly gets up to open the door to the house. Axel, Riku, Roxas, and Kairi are all present.

Axel kisses Larxene and she smiles at everyone standing behind him, her smile wavers when she sees Roxas without Namine.

"Where's your girlfriend?"

Roxas smiles. "Oh. It's the True Blood premiere tonight. She didn't want to come."

Axel chuckles, "He wasn't supposed to tell you the truth. Namine says she's sick."

Larxene laughs and then hugs Axel.

"To be honest if I had known it came on tonight I wouldn't have come myself."

Kairi smiles, "Too bad you live here!"

They all share a laugh as Xehanort walks up behind them.

"You guys gonna let all my air conditioning out or would you actually like to come inside?"

Everyone laughs again and shuffles into the house, Xehanort shuts the door behind them and then follows them into the dining room.

Everybody takes a seat and has smiles on their faces, excluding Sora who looks his absolute worse, as he pulls at his turtleneck. He exclaims loudly:

"Mother, I am absolutely livid."

Sora's mother, Aqua, looks at him.

"Honey please. Don't do this right now."

"NO MOTHER, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. THIS SHIRT IS CHAFFING MY NECK AND THESE NEW BOXER BRIEFS ARE CHAFFING MY…"

"SORA! Enough. Now. Your mother asked you to stop."

Sora replies in a mocking tone, "Sora, enough, now, your mother asked you to stop."

Xehanort takes a seat and says no more, Axel taps his spoon on the wine glass, clears his throat, and then stands up.

"I would like to make a quick toast."

Xehanort smiles, the red fading out of his cheeks. Axel continues,

"I would like to thank you Mr. and Mrs. Reinhart, for letting your daughter…"

Sora clears his throat loudly. Axel goes forth again,

"And Sora, I would like to thank all of you for letting me marry the lovely woman that is your sister. I also want to thank my two best friends, Riku and Roxas, for coming and taking part in my very special evening with my bride-to-be and her family. I would also like to say when we go to Twilight City next week, we're gonna have fun. And we know how crazy Twilight Town was, so if the city is the next step, then God help our souls."

Roxas whispers to Riku,

"I'm kind of glad I didn't bring Namine, she would have flipped after hearing that."

"I bet."

Axel is continuing in the background.

"I want to wish good tidings to us at our bachelor party, and I hope that the ever so watchful eye of The Crimson King stays away from us through this time. A toast, to us!"

Everyone says "Cheers" and people begin to clink glasses, Sora on the other hand just drinks his, slightly pissed that he wasn't invited to the bachelor party.

He gets up from the table and looks at everyone.

"Excuse me, I have to take the little African kids to the pool."

He then dismisses himself and walks away.

Xehanort smiles and says, "Well, with that, it's time to eat."

They begin to eat their dinner and everyone has a good time, nobody but Larxene noticed that Sora had never come back to the table. The boys joke around and the girls joke around together, but halfway through the dinner Larxene decides to go check on her little brother.

She leaves the table and walks down the hallway to his bedroom, considering the bathroom door was open and no smell was emitting from it, her best guess says that he lied to get away.

"Sora…"

She says, knocking on the door.

"No. There is no Sora here. Only Apoop."

"Sora. Come on buddy."

"Like I said, unless you are willing to TAKE APOOP, THEN YOU NEED TO BACK THE HECK UP."

"Just tell me what's wrong and I'll leave you alone."

Sora opens the door to his bedroom and looks her in the eyes.

"I should have been invited to hang with them. For as long as I've known them they've never invited me to do anything with them. It's not fair."

"You act like a child sometimes… I guess they treat you like one…"

"Darn it Larxene. I don't want pity. I want a chance to prove that I'm a big boy."

Larxene begins to speak but she's cut off.

"Hang on. I forgot to take my Flintstone's vitamin."

He reaches to the cupboard next to the door, pulls out a jar and then opens it, then he throws three of the vitamins in the mouth.

"Have you taken yours today? It's the gummy kind."

Larxene nods. "This is what I mean Sora. This. Kid stuff."

"This isn't kid stuff! Vitamins are good for you! They're a great source of… Vitamins!"

"Sora. You need to stop this."

"Never! Vitamins are healthy and being healthy takes responsibility! I am being more of an adult by taking my vitamins!"

"Sora. You need to grow up. For me."

Larxene turns around and walks back to the dining room, she sits back down next to Axel and when he asks where she went she tells him everything.

"I think you should take him with you."

"Absolutely not. Absolutely not."

"Please. For me."

This entire time they've been whispering, but Roxas leans over and asks about what they're talking about.

"Absolutely not. Not happening. He'd ruin everything Larxene. He's a monster!"

"He's my brother."

Axel punches Roxas in the stomach with the hand closest to him and Roxas grunts in pain.

"Is there a problem?"

Xehanort says from his spot opposite from Axel.

"No. Not at all. Sir. Just having a healthy debate."

"May I ask about the subject? I use to be a Master Debater."

Riku chuckles and sips at his wine. Kairi laughs too and then slaps Riku's knee.

"Was something I said funny?"

"No father. Nothing you said was funny."

Xehanort turns to face the voice of Sora, Sora is wearing a full black suit and he has black sunglasses on. He takes his seat next to his mother and sits up straight.

"What the fuck-"

Kairi jabs Riku in the stomach and he grunts.

Roxas looks over at the two of them as Larxene speaks.

"What are you doing Sora?"

"Showing you that I can be mature."

Riku chuckles, "This is mature?"

Kairi jabs him again. He keels over.

"Sora. You don't have to prove anything to me."

Axel looks like he's contemplating something, and speaks softly.

"Sora… how would you like to come with us to Twilight City?"

This causes a unanimous "WHAT?" from everyone else at the table, and as Aqua faints, Sora smiles and says,

"Sure, why not?"

**Play Song: Alligator Sky by Owl City  
>Scene Transition<strong>

THE NEXT MORNING

"You ready to get going?"

Riku is standing with Axel, who's drinking a beer and looking out of the window into the garden. Sora is outside sitting there alone, and his father is working on a car nearby.

"Soon Riku. I'm not too sure about all of this anymore."

"Yeah. You're bringing a god damn child with us to our BACHELOR PARTY."

"He's like 30."

"Says who? I won't believe it until I see some damn ID."

"Shut up Riku. You're making this worse."

Axel leaves the room and heads outside, Xehanort is wiping the windshield on his car off and smiles as Axel gets closer.

"Oh good. I'm glad I got to see you before you head out. I have something for you."

Xehanort walks around the car and Axel follows him into the garage, he pulls the tarp off of the car sitting in front of them and presents Axel with a beautiful 1969 Mercedes-Benz Cabriolet.

"Sir! It's beautiful."

"Yup. And I want you to bring it with you on your trip."

Axel looks confused and then speaks timidly,

"Sir… We have to take a space shuttle to get to the planet..."

"Oh shit. I forgot."

He pulls the tarp he discarded back on top of the car and smiles.

"To hell with that then, I'm keeping it."

"Oh… well thanks for the thought sir."

"Not a problem, I'll ensure that a limo is ready to take you around when you get to the city."

"Sounds great sir."

"Please, call me Tay-Tay."

Axel chuckles and then notes the complete seriousness on Xehanort's face.

"Oh. Alright Tay."

"It's Tay-Tay. But look…"

He softly grabs Axel's arm and points towards where Sora is sitting, drawing in the sand by the side of the house using a stick.

"Go easy on him tonight. No drinking, no gambling, nothing too serious. He's still a child at heart. I mean, he can have a drink or two, but use precaution, this is going to be the longest he's left my wife and I since he dropped out of high school."

"Sir, you don't have to worry. Your son is safe with us, I swear."

"I believe you… Son."

He pats Axel on the arm, smiles, and then continues,

"And remember, what happens in Twilight…"

"Will be forgotten by midnight… gotcha sir."

"Unless you get raped. In which case your ass may hurt for weeks.

Axel nods, looks absolutely terrified, and then walks away.

**Song: Take It Off By The Black Eyed Peas  
>Scene Transition<strong>

The boys are on the road by now, heading to the spaceport. Axel is driving and Roxas and Riku occupy the backseat. Sora is in the passenger seat. They are in Axel's convertible Mercedes.

"You know Axel, you might not want to get trapped in a relationship. Marriage is a pain in the ass. Kairi and I fight about everything."

Sora laughs. "Yeah, that's why I've managed to stay single so long."

Roxas sneers. "Is that the reason?"

"Yeah!"

Axel shakes his head and continues to focus on the road, ignoring the prodding and teasing coming from his friends in the backseat of his car.

The radio host speaks quietly in the background,

"And now Utada's brand NEW hit single, Sanctuary!"

Sora turns the radio up.

"HECK YEAH! This is my scheibe!"

Sora begins to dance and sing with the music.

"In you and I there's a new land, angel's in flight, wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I, my sanctuary, my sanctuary, yeah, where fears and lies melt away, Music inside, wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I, What's left of me what's left of me now"

"So gay." Roxas says.

"Not even right." Riku adds.

Axel looks in the rearview mirror at the two and smiles.

"I like this song."

"Of course you do." Riku laughs and then smiles at Roxas, who returns the smile warmly.

"How much longer until we reach the ship Axe?"

Axel scoffs. "I hate when you call me that. It should only be a few more minutes."

"Good. I'm so sick of New Haven. Not even Destiny Islands is the same anymore." Riku responds.

The boys pull up to Haven International Airport and park in the circular garage, they don't really take long to find parking and eventually they are all out of the car getting their luggage out of the back.

"Guys. I need help." Sora is having trouble getting his suitcase out of the truck.

"You're right. Step one is realizing it." Riku says and walks over to the car to help Sora get his suitcase out of it. He pulls it out with an obvious hard time.

"Son of a bitch Sora. What did you pack?"

"Just the necessities. Clothes. Dirty Mags. Some drugs, you know prescription and coke; oh and I brought some-"

Axel cuts him off, "Did you just say coke?"

"Among other things. My razor. I brought some condoms."

Roxas scoffs, "A razor! You're lucky for the hair on your head!"

Riku laughs as Axel's gaping mouth moves for a second, "I'm still trying to get over the coke."

Sora continues, "I also brought…" He digs in his bag and pulls out a small firearm.

"WHOA! WHAT THE FUCK SORA YOU'RE IN A SPACEPORT PARKING GARAGE!" Axel grabs the gun and shoves it back in Sora's bag. Then thinks better of it and puts it in the car.

"Leave that here." He reaches in the bag and takes out the coke. "And that."  
>He looks back in the bag and takes out a lot of other items, "And all of this."<p>

"Let's go crazy."

They walk towards the spaceport, Roxas and Riku laughing as they trail behind.

Sora walks into the spaceport carrying his briefcase. He looks back at his friends smiling.

"You guys want to see something funny?"

Axel replies quickly, "NO!"

Sora turns around, and to the known song by Ke$ha he begins to sing loudly swinging the briefcase in the air.

"THIS PLACE ABOUT TO BLOWWWWWWWWWWWW."

Riku and Roxas suddenly looked as if they had been punched in the stomach, as Axel runs up and tackles Sora down.

Security guards approach, guns at the ready.

"Whoa whoa whoa. He was messing around." Axel says.

"PRAISE ALLAH!"

"SORA!"

**Play Song: Price Tag By Jessie J**  
><strong>Scene Transition<strong>

"I can't believe they almost suspended our flying licenses." Sora whispered as the ship landed in the Twilight City Station.

"I'm surprised they even let your dumb ass on the ship." Riku scoffed, pulling his luggage out of the overhead carriers.

"Alright guys. Let's just get to the hotel so we can unpack and then head down to the party on Casino Avenue. They're waiting for us." Axel said as they walked into the spaceport, exiting the ship.

Sora walks over to the baggage claim and begins to grab all the bags and pull them onto the floor, even the bags that don't belong to his friends.

"Oh my God. What is he doing?" Roxas says, standing at a distance with the guys.

"Nope not ours. Nope not ours."

Sora is pulling all the bags off and throwing them aside as bystanders look at him in shock.

Axel runs up and grabs his arm, pulling him aside.

"Guys get the bags, we'll meet you at the front with the rental car."

After a long period of time, the boys finally pull up to the Excalibur Resorts Hotel, and walk up to the lady at the front desk. Sora of course is the first one to talk.

"Hi. I'm Doctor Fitzpatrick, I ordered a suite online."

The lady at the desk looked confused and then typed in the name onto the computer, after something popped up she looked at it and then shrugged and passed the key to Sora.

"I'm going to need to see some ID."

"You're about to see some shut the heck up."

Sora smiled and nodded as the boys stood behind him.

"Come on best friends."

He flips his hair and begins walking towards the elevator, not looking back at the confused front desk lady the hotel had just hired.

"How did you do that?"

Roxas says as they get in the elevator.

"Magic."

**Play Song: Take You Down By Shy Talkers**  
><strong>Scene Transition<strong>

The night was just beginning to peek around the corner as the sun began to go down on the day life.

Sora was combing his hair, getting ready for the big night.

Roxas was eating a sandwich, his suit open at the front.

Riku was looking out the window of the Master Bedroom, as Axel got dressed behind him.

"Marriage… are you sure you're ready for this?"

"Absolutely Riku. I love Larxene. I'm prepared to commit."

"Yeah but what if you meet some beautiful chick here and decide she's better for you?"

"It won't happen. I love my fiancé."

Riku scoffs and leaves the room.

The boys all meet in the living room when they're done, the room itself having a humongous glass window overlooking the city.

Sora walks over to them carrying a huge bottle of alcohol.

"We should take some shots before we head out to party."

"Finally! He has a good idea!" Roxas says.

"Before we drink, I wanted to read something that I prepared."

Roxas throws his hands up and sits down on the couch.

"Go ahead buddy." Axel says, pointing his shot glass at Sora enthusiastically.

"Uhm. Okay. Haha. Uhm. Well. How about that flight in? I've heard of rough rides, but I didn't know they only happened when 'Rough Riders' were on board. Haha. Uhm. I was really ex-excited when you guys said I could come on our little adventure. And now here we are with our SHOTS."

He holds his shot glass up.

"Shots! Shots! Shots! Haha. I sound like an overenthusiastic doctor. Uhm. I wanted to thank all of you for letting me come with you, and now I propose a toast to blood brothers-"

He pulls out a knife.

"WHOA!"

"To friendship."

He cuts along his hand and then smiles at them, Axel grabs the knife.

"You're fucking crazy." Riku says. "But something I do want to say guys, is that no matter what happens tonight. It stays between us forever. Meaning even if Axel here gets fresh with some girl…"

"Which won't happen-"

"It stays a secret. Understood?" Everyone nods and Sora holds onto his hand in agony.

Riku slaps his arm. "Calm down. It looks like a paper cut."

"Those are the worst kind. Maybe if I make it a bit bigger it won't hurt as much." He says trying to reach for the knife from Axel who passes it to Roxas who jumps up and throws it to the other side of the room.

"Can we just take the shots! I'm not too fond of dying tonight."

"Agreed" Axel takes off the cap to the alcohol, not realizing how easily it came off as he poured enough into each shot glass.

**Play Song: Blow (Cirkut Remix) By Ke$ha**

"Here's to a night we'll never forget." Roxas says.

Riku laughs. "And a night we'll never remember."

"And a night where paper cuts will burn." Sora whines.

"Here's to friendship." Axel laughs, as they drink down the alcohol and the night begins.

**End of Chapter One.**


	2. The Hangover, Part I

**PAN: For everyone that asked previously, this is not an exact rendition of Hangover 1 or 2. It is a little bit of a combination of both movies with some added Kingdom Hearts references. I realize it's been almost two years since the first chapter was published, but I plan to have the rest of the story done by August. As always, rate and review, and let's have us some fun!**

**Chapter Two Track Listing  
><strong>Radio Ga Ga by Queen  
>Troublemaker by Olly Murs<br>Promises (Skrillex Remix) by Nero  
>Bad Things by Jace Everett<br>Bad Girls by MIA

**Thanks again for reading!**

* * *

><p><em>And Now:<em>

**THE NEXT MORNING**

_The continuation of _THE KINGDOM HEARTS HANGOVER

**Play Song: Radio Ga Ga by Queen**

The scene is an ugly mess. The hotel room is trashed. A Heartless creature lies with a Keyblade piercing through its head, holding it to the ground. Alcoholic beverages are scattered throughout the room, and a small duck is lying on the ground (oddly clothed but nonetheless unconscious).

Sora is lying on the ground near the coffee table in the Grand Living Room in just boxers that are hiked up well beyond the point of decency. His mouth is agape and drool is leaking out.

Riku is in a bathtub passed out. The bathtub is filled with milk but oddly enough, Riku is still fully clothed. He's wearing gold rings on every finger and a gold necklace.

Roxas is the only one of the group in an actual bed. He's wearing a suit that is ripped to reveal his bare chest. In black ink on his chest are the words "Foxy Roxy" and a heart is underneath the text. A dog-like creature that is fully clothed is lying next to him, but it is covered in blankets.

Axel is nowhere to be found.

The duck wakes up and begins to waddle around the hotel room.

It waddles over to Sora.

"Sora! Sora! Wake up!"

Sora turns over in his sleep and scratches at the air. "Five more minutes daddy. I've been a good boy."

Riku wakes up in the bathtub, and begins to scream when he notices a crab floating around in the milk.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?"

He jumps out and slips on the floor and slams his head on the sink.

He stands back up quickly and slips again, palm out as it slams into the mirror and breaks glass all over the bathroom.

"SON OF A BITCH!"

Roxas rolls out of bed.

He mutters in his sleep from the floor. "Little houses, on the hillside, little houses, made of ticky-tacky…"  
>A loud snore erupts from the dog in bed and Roxas jumps up.<p>

"What the-"

He looks over at the bed and rubs his eyes.

"Shit. One of my contacts is missing." He looks around the room but can't find his contacts case. He plucks the other contact out of his eye and then puts on his glasses.

"Axel, is that you?" He says as he leans toward the figure in the bed. He pulls the blanket back and is suddenly looking into the giant eyes of a man-sized dog.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHH!"

Sora finally stands up from his place of rest and scratches his butt, which is clearly visible now because of how haphazardly his boxers are covering his lower body.

"Why is everyone yelling…?"

He rolls onto his pack and pulls up his boxers and then he stands up.

A diamond ring is on the floor and Sora picks it up, looks at it strangely, and then dismisses it by throwing it behind him.

He heads to the bathroom and Riku opens the door. Riku's hand is covered in blood and glass and his clothes are drenched.

"Whoa. What happened to you? Hehe."

"YOU! You did this!" Riku jumps forward and grabs Sora by the neck. The two fall to the ground and Sora begins to choke. "I don't-geh-know what I-geh-did!"

Suddenly Riku is hit on the back of the head with some blunt object and crumples to the floor.

Sora is faced with a duck in human clothes. "Donald! What are you doing here?!"

Sora stands up and hugs his good friend Donald Duck.

"Put me down! Someone needs to tell me what's going on here!"

Sora sets his friend down and then grabs his crotch. "I gotta pee-pee first."

Sora runs to the bathroom and drops his underwear. He begins to pee all over the toilet and wall, and only a few scattered drops land in the toilet.

"Ah, much better." He pulls up his underwear and walks back out into the living room just as Goofy comes running out of the master bedroom being followed by Roxas wielding a pillow as a weapon.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU!?"

Roxas says, chasing Goofy out into the living room.

Sora frowns. "Roxas! He's my friend!"

"What kind of shit is this!?" He says, grabbing Goofy by the collar. At that exact moment he sees Donald.

"HOLY FUCK A DUCK"

Sora giggles as Roxas grabs a glass off the table and smashes it to give it a jagged edge. "I fucking hate ducks. Sora. I FUCKING HATE DUCKS."

Riku wakes up. "ugh. My head…"

He stands up slowly and then pulls off his milk-covered shirt and throws it on the floor. "What the fuck did we do last night?"

Sora laughs and now is holding a juice box. "We partied."

Roxas is still wielding the glass and has now taken Goofy as a hostage. "GET THAT FUCKING DUCK OUT OF HERE SORA."

Riku muses. "Sora. Where'd you get the juice?"

Sora sucks at the straw. "Breakfast bar."

Donald walks over to Sora and points at the Heartless being pinned to the ground. Sora walks over to it and kills the creature and then snaps his finger to make his Keyblade vanish.

"Sora, I didn't know you fought in the war." Riku says, walking towards the Breakfast Bar in the room.

Sora walks over to the couch and sits down. "I didn't."

Roxas is still holding the glass and Goofy, now edging closer to the door to the room.

"I'm going down to the pool, when you guys want to talk to me you can find me there. Without your ducky friend."

Donald flicks his wrist. "Actually Sora, Goofy and I have to get going. Thanks for a fun night though."

"Haha. No problemo. You know your boy can par-tay."

Donald waves Sora off and then walks to the door. He pokes Roxas in the eyes by jumping up to his level and while Roxas tries to fight blindly Goofy along with Donald leave the room.

"Good fight champ." Riku says to Roxas as he pats him on the back.

Roxas walks over to sit on the couch but then gets good look between Sora's legs.

"God, Sora, put that damn thing away!"

Sora blushes and pulls a blanket over his lap. "Sorry. He's extra playful in the morning."

"I see that."

Riku looks around, confused. "Guys… where the fuck is Axel?..."

Sora farts. "Haha. Who cares? He's probably chilling in the lounge downstairs eating fresh bacon and eggs."

Roxas gags. "Ugh. Don't mention food or I'll barf."

Riku goes in the room and changes into fresh clothes and brushes his hair. He walks back out of the room looking for Axel in all the closets but to no avail.

"Hey, Riku, there's a closet by the front door too. Don't forget about that one."

Riku walks over to the final door and pulls it open. "Holy shit."

Suddenly Riku is charged and thrown to the ground. He starts getting punched in the face before Roxas runs over and pulls the creature off of him.

"Get off me!" The creature says in a high-pitched voice. "Lemme go!"

Sora grabs a pair of pants on the floor, sniffs them, winces in disgust, and then shrugs and puts them on.

He slowly walks over to the action.

"Mickey! What are you doing here?!"

Mickey looks up and Roxas lets him go. "Sora, hu-hu, are these clowns with you?"

Sora shrugs. "Yup. This is my little circus."

Riku puts his hands on his face. "Somebody. Tell. Me. What. The. Fuck. Is. Going. ON."

**Play Song: Troublemaker by Olly Murs  
>Scene Transition<strong>

Sora is scarfing down eggs and bacon as his companions try to make some sense of the events in the night. They are sitting at a round table outside. Roxas has tried to cover up his tattoo but due to how high it is on his chest the tops of the letters can still be seen.

Riku finally is free of all milk-residue.

Mickey was too short to see the top of the table so they had to put two phone books under him.

"Sora, slow the fuck down." Riku says. Sora growls as response and then seems to pick up the speed twofold as the waiter brings out another serving.

Roxas visibly shifts as Riku looks back at a napkin covered in pen markings.

"So nobody has any idea where we were between nine and three in the morning. Mickey, you don't remember anything?"

"You all came to my castle at well past three in the morning. I caught this one peeing in one of my bushes and then Minnie said that I had to leave with you all because you were my friends!"

Mickey looks over at Sora but he's too distracted by his food to notice.

"So Donald, Goofy, and I took you back to the hotel and we did some shots. Then you," Mickey points to Riku, "'Milk Boy', you threw me in the closet because you thought I was going to eat all of the cheese in the room. I fell asleep in there. Took me four hours to do so."

Riku frowns. "Sorry about that. But I mean you are a mouse."

"Point taken."

Roxas leans on the table and groans. "I have a tattoo. Namine is going to kick my ass. She was mad at me for getting one of those 50 cent removable tattoos with a patient at work once. She's going to have a cow over this."

Riku scoffs and looks away. "I just don't understand how something like this could have happened."

"These are the men, officers."

Three cops walk up with a tall man with brown hair.

"Whoa whoa whoa, what's the problem here?" Riku says, popping up out of his seat.

"You fuckers broke into my pet store in the middle of the night and broke every aquarium in the store. Then you stole ten crabs and ran."

Roxas stands up. "How do you know it was us?"

The man laughs. "Your little buddy here taped pieces of paper over all of the cameras that said bill Doctor Fitzpatrick at the Excalibur Hotel."

Everyone looks at Sora who is trying to chew through a tough piece of bacon. He stops and looks up. "Sorry, I just figured someone should be billed for it…"

Riku yells. "You idiot, you stupid fucking-"

Handcuffs are slapped on, and the boys are led away.

**Play Song: Promises (Skrillex Remix) by Nero  
>Scene Transition<strong>

They arrive at the police station and are put into a cell near the back. A man is asleep on a cot and when the bars shut he wakes up and looks groggily at the trio. (Mickey ditched)

The man rubs his eyes and frowns. "YOU!" He yells and points right at Sora.

"M-Me?" Sora says and then steps behind Riku.

"You're the one who put me in here!"

Riku steps to the side to reveal Sora. Sora waves awkwardly. "Sorry?"

The man grabs Sora by the collar and slams him into the wall. "HEY HEY HEY!"

Roxas grabs the man's fist, and the man throws Roxas across the room like a ragdoll.

"Okay, never mind… have at it." Roxas passes out.

Riku grabs the man and punches him, the man falls flat on his ass. "Look buddy, we've had a rough fucking night and we don't need your shit adding on to it!"

"That fucker planted cocaine in my car and got me charged with possession." The big man begins to cry. "My wife and kids thought I was some kind of dr-drug dealer!"

The big man begins to cry harder, sobbing loudly and getting the room covered in water.

"Oh, God, stop." Riku says as Roxas sits up on the floor. "I'm up mom."

Riku looks over at Roxas and then puts his hand on his forehead. "God. This is a fucking mess."

The man continues to cry. Sora sits in front of him and grabs his hand. "What's your name buddy?"

The man looks up at Sora, tears still running down his fat face and a booger touching his lip.

"P-P-Peter. But you can call me Pete. Or Peg-Leg Pete, whichever you prefer."

Sora smiles. "You have a peg leg?"

"No, but I-I want one. Bad."

"Well, it looks like there was some confusion here Pete. My friends and I don't remember anything that we did last night. And we're trying to piece it together to figure out who else we went and hurt."

Pete nods, his sobbing stifled.

"Can you tell me what time the incident occurred between our two parties?"

Riku turns around in shock, "Holy shit. The little fucker asked an intelligent question."

Sora frowns. "What's that supposed to mean?..."

Roxas stands up and moves closer to Pete. "Well, it had to have been around midnight. On the way home from my son's play. He was Othello in a production. We had just left the school and on our way back I saw you three and-" He looks around. "And one other guy. You guys needed a ride so I let you sit in the back of my van. And you left cocaine in the backseat and at a normal traffic stop I got arrested for a possession charge!"

Sora nods, seeming to understand. "The fourth man we were with, can you describe him for me?"

"Sure. He was about that guy's height (Riku), and he had long red hair. But you guys didn't take-"

"That's our guy. What time did you say this was?" Riku says, getting closer to the man.

"Midnight." Pete says, finally pulling himself together.

Riku makes a mental note of this as an officer walks up to the cell and opens it. "You guys made bail. You're free to go."

"Who bailed us out?" Roxas asks.

"Praise Allah" Sora says.

Riku punches Sora in the gut. "Cut that shit out."

The officer shrugs. "Don't know, don't care, just get the hell out of here."

Pete stands up and looks to the officer with all the strength he can muster. "Me too, officer?"

"Sit down fatty. You're not going anywhere."

Sora looks back at Pete and puts his hand out. "We'll be back for you Peg-Leg Pete. You have my word."

Sora could have sworn he saw Pete smile as they turned the corner out of the jailhouse.

Mickey awaited the boys in the main office of the police station.

"You guys owe me $10,000."

Sora smiles and hugs Mickey, Riku looks to Sora in shock. "Sora, how do you find friends like this guy?"

Sora laughs. "Genie's List."

**Play Song: Hello Seattle by Owl City  
>Scene Transition<strong>

The trio stands in the plaza of Mickey's castle.

For the past hour and a half they've been trying as hard as they can to remember the night that passed. Mickey had a few friends of his take a look at security cameras in the city and with that they were able to make a rough timetable of what they knew.

(Approximate times denote camera footage found)  
>8 PM: Left the Excalibur Hotel<br>8:32 PM: Left the Orion Bar & Grill  
><strong>8:35-10 PM: Unknown<strong>  
>10:02 PM: 711 on Atlantic Avenue  
><strong>10:15 PM - 12 AM: Unknown<strong>  
>Around 12 AM: Peg-Leg Pete Fiasco<br>(LOST AXEL)  
>12:33 AM: Aquarium Break-In<br>**1-3 AM: Unknown**  
>3:06 AM: King Mickey's Castle<br>3:32-Morning: Hotel

"So we still have almost five hours unaccounted for." Riku says, obviously exhausted from all of the events of the day.

"We can probably account an hour for when I got this wretched thing done." Roxas scratches at his chest and Riku shrugs. "Yeah, but we can't tell which hour to account for. Damn it."

Riku sits back on a chair and groans audibly. Sora is playing with an action figure of some sort. "Where did you get that?" Roxas asks.

"From Wal-Mart silly. We went to Wal-Mart."

Riku sits up and looks at Sora. "What the fuck?"

"Yeah, I found a receipt from Wal-Mart in my pocket with this little doll this morning." Sora passes Roxas the receipt and Roxas looks it over.

"Sora, this has a time on it. Riku it says he bought this at 9:28 last night."

Riku writes it down on the notepad. "Sora, you stupid genius. Roxas check your pockets."

Roxas does as he's told and pulls out a token of some sorts and a receipt from a tattoo parlor.

"Son of a bitch. It says no removals." Roxas sighs. "Of course it says no removals."

Riku snaps his fingers. "Focus. What time does it say?"

Roxas throws the receipt. "11:50."

Riku writes it down on the notepad and then looks over the few papers that were in his pocket. "Just a receipt for gum at Wal-Mart and a beer at 7/11."

Sora makes an explosion noise and throws his action figure.

"So what are we gonna do guys?"

"I'd say our best bet is the tattoo parlor. Usually the tattoo shops in Twilight City are operated by the owner. Maybe he'll recognize us and point us in the direction of where we went afterwards."

Sora picks up the token from Roxas' pocket and looks at it. "Cool, a Chuck E. Cheese token." Riku snatches it from Sora.

"No. It's from some place called the Lucky 7. We must have been there sometime last night."

"I say we head over to the tattoo parlor and see what we can figure out." Roxas groans.

Riku laughs. "I'm thinking you just wanna see about a removal."  
>"That should go without being said."<br>"I'm hungry."

"Shut up, Sora." The two others say, and Sora laughs.

**Play Song: Bad Things by Jace Everett  
>Scene Transition<strong>

Walking into the tattoo parlor, even a blind man could have seen that something was wrong.

A man was screaming at a woman across the room and six kids were running amok throughout the parlor.

"Just fucking do it Yuffie! JUST DO IT." Leon says as he's walks up to the counter, a grin immediately staining his face.

"Well, look who it is, the trio of trouble. Where's your flaming friend?" He makes a gesture at his hair and then smiles at Roxas. "Or maybe I should call you the flamer hm?"

"Excuse me?" Roxas muses.

Riku holds his friend back. "We're looking for some information. We don't remember what went down last night and we're trying to retrace our steps to figure out what the fuck we did."

Leon laughs and sits down, opening a beer. "Let me break it down for you. The three of you, along with two others, walked in here last night and your little fairy friend here decided to get a tattoo. Then you guys walked outside and stood in the street for a while until you were able to hitch a ride. But there wasn't enough room in the van so you left the red-head and the other guy here and I assume they walked on." He points down the road. "They went in that direction. Not sure what good it'll do you to know that but that's the way they went."

"Other guy?" Sora says, but Riku crowds over him. "So you're saying we left our friend?"

"I'm not saying it. I'm fucking telling you." He takes another sip of his beer as he stands up. "Now I'm going to have to ask you to kindly get the fuck out of my store."

"Wait." Roxas says. "Is there any way I can get this removed?" He gestures to the tattoo.

"'Fraid not. Now beat it."

The man walks towards the back of the store and the boys walk into the street.

"Now what do we do?" Sora says, kicking a rock.

"I say we head to the Lucky 7." Roxas says, pointing to the large building less than a quarter mile south. "We won't get much from a 7/11 clerk."

Riku nods. "You've got a point. Let's get to it."

**Play Song: Bad Girls by MIA  
>Scene Transition<strong>

"I love this song!" Sora says as they approach the Lucky 7.

Any other person would think with a name like that, the corporation aforementioned would be some kind of casino. But in fact the land beyond the door was a strip club filled with tons of poker references and gambling euphemisms.

"Haha, roll the dice." Sora says as he points at a neon sign with two nutsacks with dice-like numbering.

"That's disgusting. You would enjoy that immature garbage." Roxas says. Sora seems to resonate with anger as they turn the corner and run into a collection of half-naked men and women.

"Son of a bitch."

They all turn to face the group and their faces immediately become aglow. "Foxy Roxy!", they all yell and hug Roxas who looks uncomfortable to say the least.

"Demyx was worried you wouldn't show up!"

"Who the fuck is Demyx?" Riku says.

"Oh… I get it." Sora says as the girls lead Roxas to the back of the club.

"What do you get?" Riku mutters as they walk towards the back.

"I found a ring on the floor in the hotel room. And people have been saying all day that there was a fifth person with us last night. And I think I know where we were between 1 and 3 now."

Riku looks at him in confusion and grabs him as the doors to another room are opened and someone screams Roxas' name and hugs him.

"Enlighten me please, oh wise one."

Sora shrugs and then points over towards Roxas, and Riku turns to face his best friend.

A male stripper is kissing Roxas on the lips, leaning up against him in only a golden thong with a boa wrapped around his neck. Roxas is looking at the boys in true horror, as the truth dawns on them all.

"Son of a bitch, Roxas married a male stripper."

Sora smiles. "Haha. Yeah… That guy."

**End of Chapter Two.**

* * *

><p><strong>Tell me what you thought. Leave any ideas in a review and I'll see it!<br>Can't wait to write the next chapter, this one basically wrote itself!  
>Until Next Time, Tremax<strong>


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